A new breed of idiot

This amateur is still at it. After spending hours combing the far reaches of the internet sunday night (while I watched the superbowl) for any information on me, it seems he got so embarassed at my return volley to his little write up that he not only deleted his entry about me, but any comments from or about me on his website.

Edit: It now appears that he has banned me from commenting on his site. Nothing is a truer sign of whiny loseritis. Ah well. Maybe next time he won't bite off more than he can chew.

What a chump.

But wait, there's more.

In an effort to attempt to try to squeeze some sort of last word in, it seems "Mr. Martinez" left this little number in my comments..

DrunkenStepfather.com is owned and operated by Fox Interactive Media, as an online presence for a TV show being launched in September '06, under the same name. The character Jesus Martinez is writen by 3 comedy writers, hired by fox. The company has another 10 people involved, not including 4 interns.

The website is currently in the top 75,000 websites on the interenet, with traffic of 50,000 people per day, on average.

A recent marketing push is expected to bring the website into the top 10,000 by the end of March. And we hope to maintain that before the show hits TV.

The comments you and your friends posted are being deleted to annoy you. As this is a new site our comment moderator has little to do with himself and we are experimenting with various content strategy. We realized that a war with you was not funny or entertaining.

We don't take our site very seriously, and we apologize for misleading you in anyway. It is always unfortunate to see people get upset especially when it's from missing the joke.

We understand the site isn't for everyone, and appreciate your feedback and thanks for playing.

Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfahter.com

The comment while reeking of several revised drafts, struck me as odd in several ways so I decided to do a little research.

First off I emailed Fox Interactive Media. Imagine my (lack of) surprise when they said they had nothing to with drunkenstepfather.com and no knowledge of any TV shows planned from or about it.

Whether or not the name "Jesus Martinez" identifies any known living person, I still couldn't tell you. But if the contents of his website are the products of three comedy writers, then Ben Allbright is a pen name for John Grisham.

Not only is the writing on his website some of the worst I've ever seen, but the atrocious punctuation only accentuates the likelihood of Drunkenstepfather.com being written by three stoned high school dropouts, not as stated a team of comedy writers already verifiably NOT HIRED by Fox.

A quick scan of his sitemeter account reveals the first bit of truth, that his site does indeed receive around 50,000 hits per day. Closer inspection reveals, however, that the average visitor stays for around 26 seconds (usually an indicator of an inordinate amount of bots and web crawlers). Hardly enough time to read any of the crap the guy writes. Further investigation also reveals that 90% of his traffic comes from gorillamask and collegehumor via links to look at half dressed pseudo-celebrities. One quick scan of his "posts" reveals that on an average day, he gets less comments than I do. Sad considering he gets more hits in a week than I have all year.

Then there's his statement about marketing pushes. Marketing pushes? For a guy who "doesn't take himself seriously" I find it hilarious that you have a marketing strategy.

A quick scan of his paragraph about deleting my comments gets a chuckle. Yeah, comments are being deleted to annoy me. Im laughing my ass off right now. The truth is the comments on your site are being deleted in an attempt to save yourself some embarassment. Your deleting my comments doesn't even begin to annoy me. I just copy them and repost them every five minutes...it gives your "comment moderator who has little to do with himself" (whatever that means) something to do.

You didn't mislead me or upset me (even when you made the crack about me driving my father to his grave) and I most assuredly got the "joke." It just wasn't remotely funny.

You're right, the site isn't for everyone. It is obviously geared towards pre-pubescent teens hoping to catch some spank off time with the free wannabe softcore pictures you provide.

But there is one final thing I wanted to point out. Your statement that "this is a new site" is utterly untrue. It isn't even true that your new domain name is "new." You must be wondering where time has gone when you look at the date on the archives for your old blogspot address...



All this feigned business air you've put out since you got embarassed is truly precious. I think however, if you were as professional as you are trying to seem now you would never have left the "Why you hatin' on me" comment on my blog in the first place.

You see you got suckered in by me, then when you realized you'd been taken advantage of you tried to cut all ties in an attempt to avoid embarassment. Nice try, too bad you can't get away with it.

Thanks for playing.