Be Like....Ben?

I am the Michael Jordan of football refereeing. Three time all flagging team. Three time golden whistle team. Three times they've pulled me out of retirement, to do "just one more game."

During the early years the fans said the form on my illegal procedure calls, took their breath away. But I always wanted to be more than just flashy, more than just some piece of eye candy amidst a crew of mediocrity. I wanted to take my crew further, higher...and not by way of smoking a "j" with keith and the rest of the guys after the game.

So I started putting extra work in during the off-season. Practicing my coin toss, my flag throwing, and yes...even my first down signal. I was determined to step up my game, make sure this was the season for crew #271. The season of greatness.

Oh what a ride it has been. My "roughing the passer" call against CAC on september 15th...still talked about. My overruling of the head linesman's fumble call against Springdale...opened the door for little known Mountain Home to make a state title run. My getting run over on the first play from scrimmage by a 240 pound running back from Palestine-Wheatley...one of channel 11's top ten highlights of the year.

Some might've thought my proudest moment came when I was handed my "flagger of the year" certificate. They would be wrong. When crew #271 was called for the prestigeous "most improved crew" of the year award, that was the crowning moment for me.

It not all about flagging titles, its about championships. Jordan knew this, so do I. And while it may seem the Jordan has many advantages on me with the money, fame, etc. I have something he'll never have...

...the foresight to never attempt to market a crappy smelling cologne with my name on it.